I love Confirmation Sunday! Every year, it takes me back to the end of eighth grade. I remember being questioned about Luther's Small Catechism, Scripture passages, and the Christian Faith! Talk about a nerve-racking experience! But what a day of shear excitement and joy as I was confirmed in my Christian Faith! The choir sang; friends and family visited and gave gifts; we were greeted and welcomed by the entire congregation (at least those who worshipped at the 10:45 service!); and I got to pick the meal for the day!
Thinking back, I especially remember the vows I took with the 12 other individuals in my class. Vows to come to church and receive the Lord's Supper regularly. To live according to God's Word in everything I do. And to remain faithful to my confession, even if it costs me my life.
I spent a lot of time thinking about these vows. Can I live up to them? Looking back over the past sixteen years, the answer is clearly "no". During college I didn't go to church all that often. It started with just missing one Sunday here and there. Later, that turned into a few Sundays in a row. Finally, I even found myself at work on Easter Sunday rather than celebrating the Resurrection of my Lord with fellow Christians. I was miserable that day. I felt so guilty for making the choice to work.
My faith life was wavering. I found myself making up my own faith. Starting to believe that it really doesn't matter what you believe, as long as you believe something. Believing I could "worship God" just as well out in the beauty of the Black Hills as I could in some hot old sanctuary somewhere.
What happened to my vows? I promised this wouldn't happen, yet I was slowly excluding myself from the communion of believers. It's not like I ever stopped believing in God, but I was moving dangerously in the wrong direction.
This is yet another example of God's gracious mercy toward His children. Although I was moving away, He never let me go! He stayed right there with me! Through a couple pastors who kept track of me and were genuinely interested in me. Through theological discussions with my closest friends. Through event after event that continued to lead me back to Him.
I did not keep my end of the bargain. I broke my confirmation vows. The fact of the matter is, I cannot live up to them. They break me. They crush me. And they send me back to the cross of my crucified Lord and Savior. He took the punishment for my broken vows. He calls me to His altar to receive life through His body and blood. And He strengthens me in my confession and vows. When I break them, He restores me!
Now I'm a pastor in the Lutheran Church. Obviously this is more of God's work! It's miraculous that God can take me, broken and crushed as I am, to be used to such awesome purposes as teaching the faith to others, administering the Lord's Supper, baptizing people, and preaching the Word of God to a congregation of people struggling with their own confirmation vows! The Lord holds it all together as He holds us all together.
